The idea with which I started my work is based on recollecting memories and facing traumatical experience from my childhood as well as repressed emotions for many years. Childhood memories in time become less vivid. Although they provoke powerful feelings they still vibrate like an echo. I am trying to note them down by not focusing only on some special moment, situation or event , but exclusively on emotion. By searching for repressed emotions from childhood I am trying to make conscious not just feelings connected to my family but a tragic story of one entire period marked by “nineties” – the period of my growing up. Although “nineties” collectively look like some uncomfortable disease we got over long ago and do not even like to call into our memories, less even to write about: wars, inflation, poverty, desperation, hopelessness, twisted idols… my memories are, above all, connected to my parents’ divorce and my father’s going to war. The space that marked “emotional wipe out” that I sense even today is abandoned house in which i spent my childhood. After more than fifteen years I am returning to this space, my memories are coming overwhelmingly, pictures of special sensibility of that period that I am trying to note down with my camera. The sole space hasn’t changed, it only carries traces of time and lack of care.
By entering the house there is a “psychological barrier” that awakens some sort of undefined emotion. I start from unclear sensations, during the process of creation the emotion starts being clensed and transformed up to the moment when I recognize its essence. The Photographs describe the condition of abandonment, loneliness and the quest for the way out. By isolating the details that convey associated moments and its more or less imposed presence in relation to living element – body in whole or parts of the act, I create the atmosphere of emotional state in which I used to be and subconsciously I still am.